And for the second time in a month, a support system leaves home-soil.
My mother once boasted to someone about what a strong friends circle I have, and I think she's absolutely right. Each element in that circle was agonisingly helpful, attached and a perfect friend with a role to play.
So what do you do when you're in a stretch of 4 days when 4 of these friends take off to another country, for a very very long time?
I decided not to sit and cry. But day 1, and I'm already feeling the strain as Karan Dhebar sits at the airport.
My pillar, my subject, the predictor of moods and the controller of emotions has just left tonight for a new life in London. He made me realise that it's okay to wear my heart on my sleeve, that love doesn't ask to happen, and nothing is certain.
He's taught me lessons in how to look beyond appearances into truths about people and how ruthlessness is often a result of ignorance. He's broken my heart when he got his heart shattered and he's made me a stronger person by letting me take care of him when he needed me to. We're not finished yet, but with the distance grown so much I'm more worried about what he'll be like than the 'missing' tirade.
He's on the airport right now and I'm feeling worse than ever for not being there to say bye. I'm feeling terrible for not clicking pictures of his last few moments in Mumbai for a long time, that might stretch into years. I'm trying to prepare myself for nights that begin with a few minutes of wondering how he is and then hoping that someone there sees the anguished, non-flamboyant side that this man-boy dons.
So again, unsolicited advice to the bro of all bros (and me, who isn't a bro per se).
Remember that we're all back home and we love you.
Keep the phone charged, because when someone hits the panic button and decides to call you, it'll cause less damage when you answer.
We love you a lot, okay? Bas phone kar lena.
Give a lot of yourself to everyone there, that's who you are- selfless, undiscriminating, loving, the emperor of gossip-mongers, the homie- all those senseless words. But we know Karu/KD/Dhebar/Debbie etc- and we know you'll change. Just don't forget us in the bargain.
Don't get your heart broken again. I'll want to come there and you know that could do your cool repo a lot of damage.
And you're the sweetest guy ever. And I/we/everyone here really loves you. (Special jhappi from Babboo and me, separate and team huddle and everything)
Take care of Karan Dhebar, he's excited and he's got a weird accent, but he's a good boy. Lucky you.
And this, is his birthday poem. Two years back.
Thirty seconds into anger
And I lose myself again
There starts the need of a leash
And something to kill the strain
On a day when the sun’s too harsh
And tears begin to flow
You’re a friend when I need you most
And this I need you to know-
You’re my unexpected guardian
And you can make the frowns fly,
And you restore my cool and sense
And I need you to pacify
The passionate outbursts I have
Every second terrible day.
You’ve never let me down
Please don’t ever go away.
There’re times when we both hurt
And no one can even tell
Where the wounds appeared
Or the path where we fell.
But this to you I promise
That even if I don’t see you fall
I’ll be right by your side pronto
Away by just a call.
A beginning we never saw
An end that’ll never come-
I’ll never let go of the ideal friend
You have become.
All your funny antics aside
And behind that wall of cheer-
Just let me know what’s hurting
And I’ll make the pain disappear.
I’m feeling blessed today
That I have you around me
For joy and through pain
Through broken hearts and scraped knee-
We’ll run through like oddments we’ll always be-
KD, not just on your birthday- I hope you’re always happy!