Ajinkya's back!
Saw yesterday's episode,Sukanya and Ajinkya made it through,call back na!I sent tremors through the locality jumping around for 5 whole minutes. Mom thinks i need a psychiactrist.Mebbe i do.
But Ajinkya's BAAACCCKKKKKKK!!!I have reason to watch T.V. again!
Dear Ajinkya,
DO NOT hug sukanya, at least when I'm watching.I get super jealous, for your information.

Mom's losing it.She walks into the room more than thrice a day,mutters something, goes blank,and then says,"I thought of something and forgot." This has been happening since a little after her fortieth birthday. Ahem ahem,who needs a psychiactrist now, eh?


Ever saved a life?
Ever thought you could give someone a new lease of life?
Ever thought about starting again?
I'm going all Mitch Albom right now, but i don't suppose you've given this stuff much thought. Three questions about a new creation that mothers may or may not answer, but each one of us are certainly qualified at some or the other point of life to do that. My moment's not come yet, it's not everyday that you seek opportunities to rescue people from a situation they could regret.I'm happy today, and that's what matters.Practically perfect if not politically.
I'm starting again.'Yet' again for those who know me.But i'm not even promising this is the last time i'm granting myself yet another fresh breath of the life i think is reasonably good.I can't tell whether this is the right thing to do, or whether this is the outlook i will stick to through life.all that is immaterial,for now, what matters to me, is that i think I'm right.Ever had a better feeling?
Decisions we make through life about ourselves,our kin,our friends are something we give a lot of thought to, na?simple everyday decisions, or even the big ones where each word could alter a life.we weigh the pros and cons, the profits, the losses, everything,before we give a thumbs up to that decision. It's something you may consider obvious. But ever thought about those hunches,impulsive acts people do in the rush of the moment?
We'ce been brainwashed against such decisions, all lores telling us how people act impulsively,making wrong decisons, and later regretting their doings. They may not be wrong,but try shedding light on the right decisions people make when they trust their gut, when someone misses a flight which crashes hours later because it just doesnt feel right, when two people fall in love for no apparent reason in the face of adversity, when you break into a run in front of a hundred people just because you feel like, when you cry like a baby, even though you're macho, without meaning.
a large part of the human development happened due to hunches.due to impulsive decisions, and due to the faith that whatever happens in the future because of one's actions will be one's own doing and responsibility, and having no one to blame jus because you followed your heart. That defines freedom to me. The mute but strong fact that I dont live under the burden of others' decisions which i unwillingly accepted. Apne pairo par khade rehna? Expressing yourself because you feel it can change something, and more importantly, because it can calm your conscience? Nothing that makes me happier.
I'll be living that way. My new makeover. I'm beginning to see people in a new light now. i don't have to stop myself, be polite, watch around for someone else. i learnt that everyone is responsible for their own living, and people who think not are kidding themselves. My mentor here, is, well, Geet from 'Jab We Met'.I'm not a religious film follower, but i just realised how strong her message was. How important it is to kick aside dogma, and follow your heart. I'd never want to blame someone else for having lived my life, give someone else the credit of making decisions for me. I know it sounds selfish and egotist, but when you say 'it's my life', you gotta make it yours. and that doesnt mean doing what you means doin what you like with responsibility, only when your sure that even if the decisions you make aren't planned, impulsive actually, you won't regret them. Follow your heart isn't a cliched movie term anymore, look at it as a way of life, and even if you're living yet another day only, then you'll be glad you lived it under your conditiond and beliefs.
That's when you're saving a life. Yours. That's when you're granting someone a new lease of life. That's when you're staring all over again. a person who learns to do things from the heart learns a lot, and teaches a lot too. Asking for help is a sign of strength, realising your follies a sign of intelligence, and the will to correct them a sign of courage. I guess somewhere down the line I'll be glad i took the decisions i did, and somebody will be grateful for that too. We can't tell what the future will bring us, how much our present actions wll affect us however confident we are about them being right. but somewhere in the future, when i look bck, i know i'll be glad having listen to my heart.

Holi, and me.

i'm a hydrophobe,and i dont care if most of you dont get it. Sea water and rivers scare me, not as much as cockroaches do, but scare me alright. i can't stand huge things.i was having trouble watching tsunami waves on TV.
So the only contact i have with water throughout the year, is when i'm bathing (duh-uh),when it's raining (wheeeeeeeeee) and Holi.
This time was something different.For the first time did i feel that i was playing ekdum dil inhibitions,saying just what i want, and doing just what i felt.I splashed around,kept away from a lot of boys who spell trouble,drunkards included.And most importantly,because i know only one of my building friends is gonna have the patience to read this,i feel i've overcome a few of my psycho-blocks about this certain species of creatures.
well for reasons of my privacy,i'll call guy no.1 Adonis, and guy no.2 Ugly,which,surprise surprise they both are.
so lets go for adonis first.he's like the first ever guy i fell for,and i assumed i'll never fall out of love with him.presumptuous know i had trouble accepting i din like him fine he was cute at some point of time,but now he's just another guy from the neighbourhood.miraculous change considering i used to go bonkers if i didnt see him for more than 2 weeks.daa! he's like in a universe way apart fom mine,and now he's smudged into oblivion.
This holi was important,because i wasn't too keen to get much around him,something every girl with a crush does.i hung around just for the minimal time being of saying hi,putting a lil colour about his face,and moving off.
What impresses me the most, is that i did all of it without realising i did it,and thought about it only when i came home an hour back.kudos to me.
Second's Ugly.well to get a lil bit of backdrop on this guy,he was the closest i actually got to liking someone.he is and even then,was, nething but cute to look at,dauntingly funny,and eerily detached.attractive if not endearing.this lasted for 2years with the traffic moving only one way.then something happened and things went his absence, distractions, new know..all the stuff which marks the end of a potential in-your-head-only love story? then for about two years,all that existed, was a 'oh hi','all the best','happy new year'.stuff you share with an annoying colleague.
then something even worse happened which i'd rather not talk about very demonstratively.all i can tell, without violating my own rule of shutting up, is that the incident left me feeling disappointed in ugly, made me think of him as no better than a frightfully insignificant protozoan.not once,thrice.
when you're as humanely insane, you give second chances. i gave 1736th chance to the wretch, and as of today, i'm not regretting it.because if i look at things without judging the git, i'd say he did what all boys would have done, they're jocks, and nothing better.
i decided to talk to him,how i would have had he been any other guy i know. it worked. what i was really wary was, was what my best friend who doesn't have a very good opinion of him would think.that made for yet another psychoblock. but then again, thinking with my own brain in the cranium helped. we're, i.e. Ugly and me are in touch, and holi proved how much i was ready to get over the fact that Ugly is a jerk. no inhibitions and i didn't flinch once when we got really messy somewhere in the middle, something i would've done with any other friend of mine. **silly giggle: at the cost of this hard he's-my-guy-watcha-doing-talking-to-him-huh? look from a 'friend'..tch tch,girls na..**
Proves how normal i am now.Phew.finally!four years of HARD work, really.
and this too, was a product of all recollection after i got back from Holi-land.
my point is, a little bit of thinking, letting your mind think the way it wants to without presumptions, inhibitions, prejudice, can help heal a lot of injured relationships. don't judge people by what happened or what you felt a while ago, what d'you know? it maybe your outlook to the situation that may have changed, but you didn't give it a chance to breathe, and suffocated that of the person concerned to show you how things are different. dogmatizing yourself will hurt more than just you. people change, and we're all human, responsive to changes. a person who claims to have never changed is someone who has mode a lot of decisions that may have hurt people and never tried to put out a hand to solve differences.
trust me, it helps.

Ajinkya Shinde.

Wasssaaaa my blogophiles? vacation of my lifetime has begun, and trust me, happy days aren't all what I have. like this is an amalgamation of waking up wayyy too late, realising you could've slept more since you cant find anything to do other than brush your teeth and potty and read some Archer.solve sudko perhaps, but numbers scare me, and Mathematical anything after the 12th is naa baba naa. so wakey wakey me does have a nothing to day time, throughout.
i've picked on a nasty habit. It's called TV. It starts at about 10am and shuts up at around 1am,promptly the next day. for someone who didn't have stamina for 20 straight minutes of the bewakoof dabba, i'd say i'm doing pretty well. FRIENDS and Roadies and 'ekaa peksha ek' on Zee-marathi(i'm a half-blooded maharashtrian, and to all thackerays concerned, my dad's Mallu!).teen shows ,touche. pappa darling says FRIENDS' too hyped. i think not. i'm in love with joey, and keep reminding pappa darling that anything he says against his son-in-law to-be, would make me bring him home as ghar-jamaai.does swinging both hands towards the heaven and screaming 'grow up for god's sake' indicate he wants me to get joey home sooner?
Roadies. how to identify it?when all you can here is 'i don't beep the damn beeping beep, so what the beep do you thing you'r beeping around for you beppily beeping beeped beep?' OR you see a bald guy twisting his head in rage,who seems to be the emperor of psychoanalysis, alongside a tall cute fellow who looks on the subjects of torture who dropped by willingly (same beeping creatures) with sympathy you know it's Roadies. to think that less than 24 hours back i wanted to be one of them. what was i thinking?you so should have heard my momma meri when the eeky-leaky brother of mine told my plans to her.she was leaking all the gas she could. muttering under her breath, walking about the house like a spring monkey badabeem badiboom..
Ekaa peksha ek.something pappa darling and momma meri dont seem to object why will they?the only objectionable thing about the show is Adesh bandekar's nonsense of style(a white suit with pink flowers all over it,something like my nani's curtain, and that pair of dark blue denims with a light blue strip running in the langoti region), and that guy they call mahaguru and someone named sachin pilgaonkar eons ago. it's what they call a dance competition, not reality show mind you, and the dancers range from average ganpati-time dancers to fantabulous, charming, B-E-A-U-Tiful.try sadrick (or cedric,what's your name buddy?) d'souza.his eyes crinkle to the point of closing when he smiles. and he was like my first ekaa peksha ek hero.
then came ajinkya shinde.i dont remember his first performance, but he blew the remenants of my brain to some distant land where i could see him dance and dance and dance. here's a very stupid not-so-secret...guys who dance well give me a funny feeling in my stomach.get the hint.and it didn't help that this guy sounds,looks,dances etc like my biggest bachpan crush.the name souns similar too.and trust me,when he did the hip-hop number, all i could do was drool.i lost buckets of saliva and a cardiac organ that day,but who's complaining? not me,naah-aah.btw i remember his first dance i sw now..something where he was dressed up as an obese medieval inspector line-lagaoing on some chick..what expressions man.(Ajinkya if you do read this,please remember to meet up whenever you come to mumbai next.what d'you know, na?).
though something really wierd happened this week. pill-gheun marat nahi-gaonkar said ajinkya seemed arogant in his performance.ok,u have a theme called freestyle,a song like 'woh lamhe' remixed and playing a technically perfect mr.shinde performing a perfectly choreographed dance, and you go fishing against that necessary attitude?daa!i'm not prejudiced against this guy, but any person who's got some whacky party brain will not screen into the fact that the song was originally a romantic one,but the one playing is remixed..BIG need attitude, or that's what i thinkie. youth culture regards talent with the occassional shine,occassional only mind you of arrogance brilliant,and that's what Ajinkya showed. bu-hh-t,pill-u kno wat-gaonkar, isn't all that much of a youth anymore, is he?he wears a wig, has overtly comical eyebrwos,talks as if he's in a mushy movie, whose conversations are entirely autobiographical,and we all remember him first as the child artist in Brahmachaari and the 19 year old ahmed in sholay.sholay was in 1975, by the,doesnt that make pills 52?like white hair comes up later for actors or wat?
i can stand criticism against ajinkya,but only justified.mebbe i got the whole arrogance point wrong, but such a lot of emphasis can do the grave for an artist's energy. pills,take a chill-you.the vibrance this fellow's got is something you in your hyperboled career couldn't manage even if you're on LSD.
the next episode,ajinkya gives yet another brilliant show,with 'kombdi palaali'.this time,no complaints from pillu-sir,and apparently adesh's costume designer has been sacked by the PR department of the show.ajinkya was his best today,seconded by his own of those days when you feel you're falling in love all over again?
and they eliminated him.i knew it was coming,he was such an obvious winner.sour grapes, if that's wat you call it.but this was the most emotional goodbye in any competition.sadrck cried, him being the second worthiest of winning (for old times' sake).ajinkya shed a tear or two.he'll be ok,more competitions to go.but will i?damn i'll miss his sudden grins, and the semi-nasal tone.the acrobatics he does and the perfectly crescent smile.i'll miss ajnkya shinde,for raising the bar of dancer on television.
Ajinkya, you're a star.hope they call you back,'coz you deserve going ahead.but as you said, you'd rather have stayed uneliminated from the competition than have been called back.